These are just some random thoughts on our weekly viewing party of AHS Freak Show. So please pardon the randomness of it, but I do have to say, tonight had some awesome lines. Too many to pick from.



Intro Scene

Elsa: Has the cat got your tongue? My talent has been known to render men useless

Lupe: I have been called names so many times, that I had to give them a monster. Mordred, I have never heard the words “my lovely” sound so creepy than when Mordrake said that to Elsa.

Clay: You’re not the first boy to come around looking for lessons in love.

Scene Two -

You could get the blow job of your life; it was sexual chaos. Does the puppy need to go pee pee.

Lupe: I wasn’t quite ready for that freak show, brothel scene. The clown off is about to begin.

Clay: Twisty had it coming. No dominatrix puts baby in the corner, especially sitting on nails.

Scene Three -

The soldier boy, he had fallen in love with this whore.

Lupe: I think Elsa is hiding something.

Clay: That was an extreme pedicure or are you ready for my close up.

Scene Four -

I love the children, but not the freaks….they’re mean. I know better than anyone else what kids want.

Lupe: The backstory of Twisty was tragic, all of the name calling and abuse. As regards to Dandy, nothing is as good as the real thing, so cut it out.

Clay: Poor dental hygiene will kill you every time.

Scene Five -

Oh for the love of Christopher….

Lupe: I’m a real lady, and then some. #AndThenSome

Clay: Jimmy saved the show. That’s definitely a strain on the vocal cords for Patti.

The show is moving an evolving rapidly, which is pretty typical for a Ryan Murphy show. But to kill off Twisty, right when I was starting to like clowns again, come on Ryan.

I think Twisty needs to make an encore performance.

Have a peaceful night!

Johnny Bryan Ward

Today has been one of those moments in life when you realize that dreams can be plural. We don't have to settle for just having one dream, one thing that we strive for. We can do and achieve anything we set our hearts and minds to. 

When I graduated with my bachelors I was proud. When I graduated with my masters, I thought what next? When I met the love of my life when I was in my thirties, I thought life has a funny way of bringing us what we least expect. I could have stopped there. 

I had my education, I had my husband, I had two wonderful children and an awesome family. But there were still dreams that I held deep within. Dreams that never stopped nagging at me, telling me that I had more within me. 

It wasn't until I was 42 that I picked up that dream, dusted it off and put it to the ultimate test. I was rusty, even scared. I didn't know if I had what it would take to write a piece of work worthy of publication. But I faced my fear, I kept going. I got up at 4:30am every morning and wrote before it was time to go to work. I would worked on it over the weekend. I put my heart and soul into it and then one day it happened, I had my first draft. 

Needless to say, Blue Moon is that vision, that dream that kept nagging at me.  I loved writing it and I am loving writing the rest of the series. I have so many ideas, dreams, ready to be put to paper. 

Today, I launched that dream for the world to see. I put it out there to be read, loved, and even hated. It will not be for everyone, but it will be enough for some. I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of support today, by text and social media. I will be honest, I don't know what the numbers are for today's sales, and it doesn't matter, not today. Today was about fulfilling a dream. I feel like I have done that. 

Keep dreaming and keep believing. It will happen if you want it bad enough.

Have a peaceful night!

Johnny Bryan Ward

I feel so fortunate to have a family who is as thrill-seeking as I am. Some of them indulge me (I think) and push themselves outside of their comfort zones, but I appreciate it non-the-less.

I had been counting the days until the movie Annabelle came out and we made an event of it. Our dear friend, Ali, came in from Wichita that weekend. We went to see Annabelle, which was amazing, then to dinner and then to the haunted attraction, The 13th Ward (no, they were not admitting me).

We make it a family event each year to go check out some haunted houses and this year we chose The 13th Ward. It was a great time and THEY ALL got a good laugh at me throwing my hands in the air each time someone came at me. I have this love/hate relationship with Texas Chainsaw Massacre. As a young child, I wasn't able to finish the first movie (that was the only horror movie I wasn't able to finish), but as an adult, I absolutely love them. But when that man in The 13th Ward came at me with a chainsaw, all I could do was freeze (after almost knocking a wall down). It was fun, and laughs were had by all. 

That was a few weekends ago, but tonight we all went to see the movie Ouija. I have been waiting for this one to come out too. It did not disappoint. There were many moments when you thought you would jump right out of the seat. I loved it.

I am not sure where my love of horror movies and supernatural books came from. It is the total opposite of my upbringing and my personality (I can hear the Peanut Gallery saying something over there, his name is Clay). As my first book is launching Tuesday, October 28, 2014 (the eBook version is available today on Amazon.com), I find myself evaluating where that love of the supernatural comes from. My analysis is, I don’t care. It is me and I will continue to seek out those supernatural adrenalin rushes and continue to write books with the same thrill as long as the ideas keep coming.

Have a peaceful night!

Johnny Bryan Ward

Tonight's Episode Three was especially thrilling to a horror movie fan like myself. There were a couple of scenes that paid homage to John Carpenter's Halloween franchise. It was amazing and the fact that it was the clown made it that much more of a nail biter. Love where this season is headed. Here are some of our favorite excerpts and personal opinions on Episode 3, for what they are worth. 




Elsa - They were losers in life…at least now they have some value.

First scene:

Lupe: I am looking forward to finding out more about those suspect people and what they are going to do at the freak show to get that hot commodity item. There looks are so simple and unassuming; I feel like they are going to slime their way in there.

Clay: Seems like all the good jobs are in Florida.

Second Scene:

Lupe: Hope is the best medicine.

Clay: Curfews are for poor people…..Dots a bitch!!!

Third Scene:

Ethel - Someone is mad at someone…fight with triple tits??

Believe me boy…I hate you too!!!

Lupe: I have a soft spot for Ethel Darling this episode…

Clay: RESPECT ReRe….

Fourth Scene:

The Viking hustler was a nice surprise….

Lupe: The Hustler guy, creepy, not kinky….

Clay: I can’t decide who I like better…the Viking or the clown.

Fifth Scene:

You are nothing but a two headed freak…

In the land of Gods and Monsters, I was an Angel…..No one’s gonna take my soul away….Its innocence lost….Oh yeah give it to me, it’s what I really want, its innocence lost.

Lupe: Stuff’s about to go down with Edward…he is about to take over. Elsa, was wearing green to match her envy.

Clay: The dark haired stranger…it’s Mr. Mordrake to you….

Sixth Scene:

More fun…

Lupe: There is about to be a clown off, for sure….and Edward has a soft spot for Ethel #nottheone

Clay: Fear the beard… #notjustBigBrother 


Let us know what you favorite parts of this episode were...comment below.

The eerie music strikes up, the scene is set and the clown is on the loose. Where this will go, nobody knows, but we are watching with baited anticipation for the story to unfold.

Intro:

Elsa: My monsters cherish their privacy.

Lupe: Oh snaps, come on! That’s one angry clown.

Nate: I think he is just upset because he can’t make the world happy.

Clay: The show must go on….

Scene Two:

Jimmy Darling: got to let em know us….

Ethel Darling: Christ on a wheel…

Desiree: I couldn’t stand the stink of it….let’s not get ahead of ourselves now, let’s get you to come first.

Lupe: It’s nice to see Angela Basset back doing her thing… #naughty, was that a bottle he was drinking out of? That one takes “mommies boy” to a whole new level.

Nate: I liked when the strong man broke that dudes neck…that was pretty cool.

Clay: I guess it makes me the happiest man in the world.

Third segment:

Dandy Mott: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you…… (This boy has some issues that are going to make for some good television)

Gloria Mott: It’s a clown, your very own clown….you can do whatever you want with him.

Elsa: It doesn’t matter if they are good…they have two heads. People don’t come to see freaks in the light of the day….Night allows the stars to shine and we come alive.

Lupe: Those are fighting words between the strong man and Elsa….Not everyone wants to share their toys.

Nate: Its getting more intense…building up intensity…someone is trying to take over the show; momma aint gonna like that.

Clay: Everybody loves a matinee, especially a freak show matinee.

Fourth segment:

Random rude lady: Excuse me, is there anywhere else you can eat….you are upsetting my daughter.

Lupe: Momma said don’t touch my boy…strong man is in for it.

Nate: This could help us…just get ready to run.

Clay: Clowns just want to be loved too…

Fifth segment:

Lupe: That harmony….Elsa doesn’t look very happy with the new Head’s-liner

Nate: Was that an hour long?

Clay: Sing it sisters…..

Sixth segment:

Lupe: My feelings hurt for Meep the Geek. Envy is very ugly…shame on you Elsa.

Nate: I feel sorry for Righty….the strong man has to go.

Clay: Clear evidence for separate housing for juvenile offenders.

Johnny’s thoughts…

This looks like it is going to be one hell of a ride. The setting, the characters and clown; oh that clown.

What does Ryan have in store for us? We can’t wait to find out!

See you next week for another AHS Freak Show commentary. What are you most looking forward to finding out?


Have a peaceful night, if you can!

Johnny Bryan Ward

Today is National Coming Out day. We all have our own story about coming out. It’s a personal one, but one I have shared with many friends, so I will share some with you.

The decision to move…

When I moved away from home the first time, I actually left the state. I moved to California when I was 19-years-old. I had spent a huge majority of my life being bullied about being different, feminine and gay (even though I had yet to tell anyone I was gay).

When I was in California, I was introduced to a whole new world. People were out, people were proud and some of those people worked with me. I had made friends with lots of people at my employment and we spent most of our time together when we were not at work. I was friendly with the gay staff at work, but I still carried the stigma and hurt from my youth with me. I was too afraid to let them in; to let them get to know me.

The decision to come out…

I had left California two years later, moved back to Oklahoma for a brief stint, maybe 6 to 9 months. One of my best friends from California had moved to Ft. Lauderdale while I was in Oklahoma. I had come out to her and she had told me how wonderful Ft. Lauderdale was and how she worked with a great gay man, who was funny and witty. She thought we would get along great.

I made the decision to move to Ft. Lauderdale, much to my family’s dismay. My best friend and I got a place on the beach and I also got a job where she was working. She was correct about me and her gay friend at work getting along. Although I will admit, when I first met him, he came running down the hallway at their work screaming her name at the top of his lungs. I was a little intimidated, but hopeful.

As time went by, he started to become one of my best friends too. We did everything together. He told me his life story and how he struggled coming out to a religious family. He gave me hope, strength and courage. I decided I would tell my mom’s best friend, who had been like an aunt to me my entire life. I knew she would know how to tell my mom.

The time had come…

We talked for many months on the phone about my mom, my family and how best to tell her. She encouraged me to just tell her the truth, no matter the consequences, because she had faith in my mom and her love for me.

I decided one night it was time to tell her. I walked out to the pay phone (yes, this is how long ago this was), just down from our place on the beach and made the call. At the last minute, I had some uncertainty creep in and decided the lesser blow would be to tell my mother I was bisexual. Of course, she didn't take it well at first and I admit, if I had it to do all over again, I would have just told her I was 100% gay, always was and always will be.

It took some time for my mother to come around, but she has and we have a wonderful relationship. She loves my husband, our children and our life. Actually, I got lucky. I was so jaded by the bullying I had experienced growing up, that I prejudged my entire family. I was selective in who I told. Turns out, 21 years later, they didn't care. They loved me for who I am, who they know me to be. I am their Bryan.

Morale of the story….

Everyone has their own story and everyone comes out in their own time and way. There isn't one perfect way of doing it and you have to do it the way you feel most comfortable and safe. There are always resources available, a hell of a lot more than when I came out. It’s about educating yourself about what is best for you. Just love yourself, trust your gut. Don’t put yourself in a dangerous situation; you know best. Let your instincts guide you and be true to yourself.

No one can do this for you. You will know when it is right for you. It is nice when our family accepts us for who we are, but we also have to know, we have the ability to have a family of our choosing.

Don’t give up. Keep up the good fight. Be true to you. Love yourself and live your dreams.

P.S. I am still best friends with my friend I met in California and Ft. Lauderdale. I made great friends in both places and am still close with most all of them.

Have a peaceful night!

Johnny Bryan Ward

The day started with good intentions of us completing an aspect of our family unit by simply being able to join our car titles so that my husband would be on my car title with me, and I on his. The following is some post made earlier by me on the progress of that.

The Beginning….

The battle rages on as my husband and myself went down to Mid-Town Tag Agency in Tulsa to have our car titles put into each other’s name. The gentleman helping us was a little puzzled, then disappeared for almost 10 minutes. We could hear them in the back talking about it due to their cubicle walls. He returned with his supervisor.

The agent informed us they had just talked with the Oklahoma Tax Commission, who had informed them, we could not do this without paying excise tax on the cars due to the “law has not been changed yet. It’s still with the legislation.”

It is our understanding and the understanding of Troy Stevenson of TEN – The Equality Network, that marriage was equal in Oklahoma. Even Department of Public Safety has realized they cannot withhold LGBT couples who are legally married from changing their names on their driver’s licenses.

This week other Oklahoma agencies have started acknowledging same sex marriages as legal marriages in the State of Oklahoma, some allowing you to add your spouse on your benefits.

We will be marching back down there this afternoon and demanding they give us our equal rights in Oklahoma. We cannot be complacent on any of these issues and we need to stand up and demand our rights be acknowledged.

We will keep you informed.

The head-banging frustrating explanation….

Trying to explain to this agency there is no differences in marriage in Oklahoma anymore! No heterosexual or same sex marriage; JUST MARRIAGE!!!

 — with Clay Finck-Ward at Mid-Town Tag Agency.

The conclusion of the debate on their lack of direction….

#ThisIsHowWeWin Very happy day! We are proud to announce after a little over an hour of intense conversation between the Oklahoma Tax Commission Attorney’s office with the amazing Troy Stevenson, Executive Director of TEN - The Equality Network, Clay and I are the first gay couple in Oklahoma to be able to put our names on each other's car titles without having to pay an excise tax! Feels good to be recognized as the family unit we are!

The problem is with OTC, not with this nice lady at the tag agency who was doing as she was directed by OTC in telling us NO. She even acknowledged that a marriage is marriage! She was doing as her boss, OKLAHOMA, was telling her!

OKLAHOMA, get on the band wagon! You are not above the Supreme Court, no matter what our leaders are telling you!

The morale of the story….

Our leaders are saying that the “rogue Supreme Court” should not be allowed to make decisions on behalf of Oklahoma citizens, especially on an issue they had voted against over a decade ago. Well, you can’t decide the only time the Supreme Court is a good forum is when they vote in your favor. Our government is set up in a way the people of America have asked for and allowed to happen.

Whether good or bad, the Supreme Court is there for a reason. The problem doesn’t lie with the Supreme Court, or the 10th Circuit Court. The problem is with Oklahoma leaders not giving guidance to state agencies on how to implement these changes. They are basically putting these agencies in a situation where they are breaking the law.

It is sad when they have to get attorneys on the phone, from both sides to argue what the proper course of action should be. But in the end, the OTC attorney’s knew it was in their best interest to allow this and I am so pleased we were the first this marriage benefit was extended to.

Many thanks go out to the many people who have fought for more than a decade for this right to be given to couples like us. Thank you Mary Bishop and Sharon Baldwin. Thank you Sue and Gay. Thank you OKEQ and TEN – The Equality Network for all of your hard work and support. You kept us updated, you made us feel safe and you never back down. True heroes in my book. And thank you to all of the other LGBT couples who have stood by, patiently waiting, not always in silence, for this day to happen.

The true morale of the story….

You can’t stand in the way of love and you can’t stop human rights. They both are bigger than all of us and we will have champions fighting until the end of time for what is right. I bow to you all.

Have a peaceful night!

Johnny Bryan Ward

P.S. Thanks Troy for your hard work and support on this today! #LGBT

The night of the freaks has arrived and we are anxiously awaiting to see what American Horror Story has in store for us this time. For me personally, I have somewhat of a phobia of circuses, but my love of mystery and intrigue will win out each time.

Each season has built upon the other, but if I am honest, my first love for AHS still lies with season one.

Lupe is making gluten free pizza while her new puppy Spark is jumping around playing with everything. He is an adorable, six-month-old Yorkie, full of energy and love. I think he is feeding upon our energy and excitement for premiere night too.

Ok, it’s time for dinner, then we will check back with you once AHS Freak Show starts….

Opening Scene…

Got to love the haunting music, Jessica Lange and Sarah Paulson and the Cabinet of Curiosities. It is looking good so far folks.

Lupe: From minute one, the music is everything.

Clay: I’m waiting to pass judgment. There hasn’t been a bad season. Jessica Lange pulls it out each time. The thing I like about it, even though they use the same actors, you forget about who they were in previous seasons.

Scene Two:

“So has anyone ever tasted your cherry pie?” Elsa

Ok, the clown was a little too much…sent me over the edge, but in a good, wicked way. But Elsa (Jessica Lange) is clearly on the hunt for some of 1952’s most unique beauties.

Lupe: It was good to meet a couple more the main characters. That clown murder was crazy; don’t be fooled by people’s tricks.

Clay: I think the clown is awesome.

Scene Three:

“Let’s hear it from you Lefty…” Elsa

The clown is going to make it a scary, on-the-edge of your seat season. Love the devil face entrance, where you walk into the devils mouth to enter the Freak Show.

Lupe: I want to see inside, I want to see inside the tent. I don’t like the way the mom made them feel ugly for something they had no control over. They can’t help how they were born. My feelings hurt for them.

Clay: I think for the first show, it is unraveling nicely.

Scene Four:

“My monsters, the ones you call depraved, they are the beautiful ones….” Elsa

“Carnies drown their sorrows in a little hooch, so what…” Bearded Lady

Lupe: I think people do unexplainable things when they feel someone is messing with someone they love or call community. It says a lot about how he feels about their community.

Clay: She liked it, she liked it, and so did I…..

Scene Five:

Loved seeing Jessica sing and introduce the Freak Show. She is truly a marvelous talent. Very deserving of every award she has received.

Lupe: I want to see more…let the show go on! I liked the Elton John feel to the song.

Clay: I just want to know where it’s going.

The Final Scene:

“Don’t we deserve to be happy? When bad things keep happening to good people, you start to question what is right and wrong….” Jimmy Darling

“To the wolves…” Jimmy Darling

Lupe: So much went on in this episode; so many story lines were introduced. I think people are going to struggle with hating and liking Elsa. She is giving a place for all those who feel different, alone and not part of a community.

Clay: It doesn’t seem to be a show for the faint of heart….

But as Clay says this, I watch Lupe hiding half of her face in an attempt to protect herself from the horrors and surprises that Ryan Murphy is sure to throw our way. Ryan, we thank you for the wonderful, fresh and hauntingly good time you bring to us each season. We can’t wait to see more.

This is going to be a wonderful, amazing season. Some of the most interesting characters to date. Let us know your thoughts on the AHS Freak Show Season Premiere.

Post your comments below and let us know what you are most looking forward to this season....

Have a peaceful night!

Johnny Bryan Ward

What a glorious day to be gay in Tulsa, OK. Yes, the day has come and as far as I can tell, hell hasn’t frozen over. Marriage equality has hit our state and the fight of many, on both sides of the issue, have felt the whirlwind as the decision from the Nation’s Supreme Court came down.

The hard fought battle began over ten years ago, with Mary Bishop and Sharon Baldwin, both of Tulsa. They filed for a marriage license in Tulsa County and were denied by the County Clerk. The battle has raged on for a decade and came to a sweet climax today as the couple married at 5:00p.m. in Tulsa.

It is indeed a good day to be gay in Tulsa. Our rights have been made equal and although there will still be battles to wage, because homophobia did not disappear today, we can move into the future knowing we have the same rights as any married couple in this state.

I will not even go into what our Governor, I should say the Governor of some, because she is not a Governor, who stands for all in Oklahoma, had to say today. It was the same useless; we stand alone song she has sung for far too long. Even she, will not take away this momentous win from us.

I cannot think of a better day for this to happen. This is Anti-Bullying month as well as the anniversary of the day Matthew Shepard was attacked in Laramie. I know his memory is fueling us on, and we will continue to fight for the rights of all those oppressed. Equality is a right, not a luxury to be handed out to only those felt deserving.

Change is in the air, and I for one am one Happily Married Gay Tulsan. 

Tulsa Ballet kicked off it's 2014-15 season with #CreationsInStudioK featuring three brand new ballets created especially for Tulsa Ballet. It is also the 20th Anniversary of Marcello Angelini's Artistic Direction of the Tulsa Ballet. As Scott Black, Managing Director of TB stated in his opening comments, "what better way to kick of Marcello's 20th Season than with Creations In Studio K." I also can't think of a better Date Night, than with my husband and the Tulsa Ballet.

The Grammar of Ornament, choreography by Ashley Page, was an amazing work. The music and dancing went hand in hand. Ashley is quoted in the program directory as saying "it's almost like listening to something slowly fall apart." I would agree, but nothing falling apart has ever looked so beautiful.

Cripple and the Starfish, choreographed by Adam Hougland, was a hauntingly beautiful testament to the human spirit, its resilience, the search for love and for belonging. I found myself loving the music, by Anthony and the Johnsons, just as I love watching to TB dancers bring the story to life. Watch the video at the end of the blog for a documentary on the making of this ballet.

Romeo, choreographed by Luciano Cannito, was a modern day version of Romeo and Juliet, but with a sort of West Side Story twist to it. The dancers were stunning in their outfits and the vision of the story was dark and gritty. Loved it.

Please buy your tickets and support this world class Ballet Studio right here in Tulsa. You will not regret it. It is PERFECTION!!!