After celebrating 10 years of marriage this past weekend with my husband, Clay, I am humbled, extremely happy and proud. Family means more to me than just a group of people you are related to. Family ties run deep for me and always will. Although my definition of family has changed over the years, and is still in a state of evolution, as I find age has given me the wisdom to expand the definition of “family” to meet personal needs and who will make up my family.
I never thought that being a father was something I would experience, but when I married Clay, I also took a vow to be a father to his two children, Nathan and Nataya. As the years passed, laws were fought, challenged, and finally defeated, a constitutional amendment made it so the nation recognized our marriage. This change and recognition had far reaching effects. This meant that I could adopt Nathan and Nataya without Clay having his rights terminated on his adult children. Yes, you heard me right, adult children. If I had adopted Nathan and Nataya prior to the Supreme Court overturning the law that banned same sex marriage, Clay’s rights would have been terminated. Asinine for sure. But the story doesn’t end there. A young adult had entered our lives a few years back, and her name is Lupe. Lupe had touched the heart and soul of our family, had become one of “ours,” just like Nathan and Nataya. When I was able to adopt Nathan and Nataya, the law now cleared the way to allow both Clay and myself to adopt Lupe as well.
I never thought that being a father was something I would experience, but when I married Clay, I also took a vow to be a father to his two children, Nathan and Nataya. As the years passed, laws were fought, challenged, and finally defeated, a constitutional amendment made it so the nation recognized our marriage. This change and recognition had far reaching effects. This meant that I could adopt Nathan and Nataya without Clay having his rights terminated on his adult children. Yes, you heard me right, adult children. If I had adopted Nathan and Nataya prior to the Supreme Court overturning the law that banned same sex marriage, Clay’s rights would have been terminated. Asinine for sure. But the story doesn’t end there. A young adult had entered our lives a few years back, and her name is Lupe. Lupe had touched the heart and soul of our family, had become one of “ours,” just like Nathan and Nataya. When I was able to adopt Nathan and Nataya, the law now cleared the way to allow both Clay and myself to adopt Lupe as well.
Convoluted story to tell, and even more complicated to write down, but little did we know that what we were doing was monumental and life changing for our kids, but it was for the state of Oklahoma, and even the national foster care system. The adoption was picked up by a Tulsa World reporter and columnist, Ginnie Graham, and was published in the Tulsa World and The Oklahoman. The Human Rights Campaign (HRC), did a feature article on the same sex marriage adoption, that coincided with Lupe being awarded the White House Champion of Change for her tireless work in educating, reforming and giving back to a system she grew up in. You can still go onto the White House website and read about Lupe being awarded the Champion of Change award and Lupe’s blog published on the White House website.
I think that Brandon Burnett told the story of our family the best. What started out as a high school senior project for an aspiring film student with the Tulsa World article in his hands became a story that has the potential to change many lives. You see, some people are still looking for their “Forever Families” and have yet to find them, but our family found forever, when two men met, fell in love, got married, one adopted one child, while the other adopted three, add a son-in-law and a granddaughter, and they live happily ever after.
Even when one has found their forever family, stereotypes and bigotry rear their ugly heads, as was evident by NBC’s Al Trautwig being criticized for his ignorant and misspoken words on Simone Bile’s adoptive parents. Trautwig tweeted “they may be mom and dad but they are NOT her parents,” but his tweet has since been removed following the bombardment of criticism he was faced with. Such irresponsible remarks have no room in today’s discussion involving adoptions and even adult adoptions.
I think that Brandon Burnett told the story of our family the best. What started out as a high school senior project for an aspiring film student with the Tulsa World article in his hands became a story that has the potential to change many lives. You see, some people are still looking for their “Forever Families” and have yet to find them, but our family found forever, when two men met, fell in love, got married, one adopted one child, while the other adopted three, add a son-in-law and a granddaughter, and they live happily ever after.
Even when one has found their forever family, stereotypes and bigotry rear their ugly heads, as was evident by NBC’s Al Trautwig being criticized for his ignorant and misspoken words on Simone Bile’s adoptive parents. Trautwig tweeted “they may be mom and dad but they are NOT her parents,” but his tweet has since been removed following the bombardment of criticism he was faced with. Such irresponsible remarks have no room in today’s discussion involving adoptions and even adult adoptions.
Through Brandon’s eyes, our family story was captured into a beautiful, tear at your heart story, of how a young girl, who grew up in the foster care system in Arizona, found her forever family at the beautiful age of 32.
Brandon told it so well, that he was awarded 2nd prize winner of the 2016 C-Span Student Cam, Gold Medal Awards from Scholastic Arts and Writing for Regional and National. He was recognized at Carnegie Hall on June 2nd. Home, was accepted into the 2016 LA Film Festival and Brandon was the only high school student that was selected to showcase his short documentary at the DeadCenter Film Festival.
Brandon told it so well, that he was awarded 2nd prize winner of the 2016 C-Span Student Cam, Gold Medal Awards from Scholastic Arts and Writing for Regional and National. He was recognized at Carnegie Hall on June 2nd. Home, was accepted into the 2016 LA Film Festival and Brandon was the only high school student that was selected to showcase his short documentary at the DeadCenter Film Festival.
Sit back for 8 minutes and listen as our daughter brings it Home.
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