AHS 6

We are all just spinning on the wheel…there is but one way to keep off the wheel, it’s not youth, it’s not beauty or true love…I know how to stay off the wheel, I control my fate, I have survived…one has to be willing to destroy who they must to keep the God’s in check. ~Elsa

Lupe: Good luck with keeping those God’s in check Elsa…(rolls eyes)

Clay: In-breeding has caused enough problems in this family.

Second Section:

Lupe: Dot has a major case of RIBF (Rest in Bitch Face); seal boy is a playa

Clay: If life gives you a lemon, make you a lemonades.

Third Section:

Lupe: Dandy had another adult temper tantrum.

Clay: Help, Help, let me out!

Fourth Section:

Lupe: Elsa did that on purpose…team seal boy all the way!!

Clay: At least it wasn’t a hat trick…

Fifth Section:

Lupe: I’m glad Ma Petite is still alive. (Clay rolls eyes and says that is lame).

Clay: If your body was worth half of what Ma Petite’s was you would be soaking in formaldehyde.

Sixth Section:

Dandy: There is nothing left but the dust and scorpions inside me…the desert knows no mercy…I must accept this emptiness as a blessing, not a curse.

Lupe: Nobody like a man-boy.

Clay: I just wanted to be loved…don’t we all...

AHS 7

Lupe: I thought she was going to choose Dandy; she shocked me with that one. Family prevails over everything.

Clay: Are they Alice in Wonderland? We paid good money for these girls.

Second Section: 

Love me some Nirvana; Jimmy Darling looks and sounds very sexy!!! For a time period piece, that stage sure does jump into the future for music.

We don’t take orders from liars!

Lupe: Well who’s the strong man now? Good for you Amazon Eve! Richard is a slimy coward.

Clay: When did this become Glee? Never fall in love with a hustler. When did the screams of a man who has been nut shot is so specific.

Section Three: 

Hope that the world will right itself, that the just will be rewarded and the wicked punished….Take control, ain’t nobody gonna protect our people protect us but us.

Lupe: Breakthrough moment…too bad it too alcohol to do it. Even the strongest of men have a heart.

Clay: Easy Peasy Japaneasy. You aren’t gonna become a drunk in one night….you gotta commit to it.

Section Four: 

It’s the Toledo way….the moment you let a woman tell you what to do, is the moment you hand your balls over to them.

Penny, Penny, Open your eyes, Daddy’s got a big surprise.

One, Two, Elsa’s coming for you…three, four….

Lupe: I am going to say something I have never said in my life; goodnight dad. Such a powerful scene. There is about to be a war between Siamese twins…that’s going to be crazy.

Clay: I worked with plenty of gals with double chins but never with two heads. Stick out your tongue….I got it forked.

Section Five –

You are a regular Betty Crocker, Ethel…..

Lupe: It takes a weak, weak man to go after Ma Petite…I am so upset!

Clay: Pickled Petite anyone?

A walk down memory lane, revealing deep rooted stories about myself, to help educate members of the Covenant Network of Presbyterians on why it’s important that the church recognize same sex marriages. This was my day today, or at least the afternoon and it left me feeling very inflated, even though the stories were sometimes emotional and hard to tell.


I don’t really do this much, talk about my faith, religion or the church. But Clay and I were asked to speak on a panel which consisted of six gay men, including us. A lot of the stories told were similar, but each had their own hurt, pain, triumph and hope for the future.

What I loved about it most, was affirming to all who came to listen to the two sessions in which we spoke that we are a married couple, a family, with kids, and a grandchild on the way. We have a loving, supportive extended family. We told about our wedding (our commitment ceremony in Tulsa) and our legal wedding in Washington, DC, on our fifth anniversary. It was wonderful to relive those moments to friends in the audience and panel and also complete strangers.

I also loved the fact that during the discussion, it was brought up that being positive role models to today’s youth, both gay and straight, is a responsibility that we LGBT married couples have. If we can make one child’s life easier by being an out and proud, successful married couple, then we have done well. If we can save another child from walking down the path to thinking that suicide is the only answer, then we have done well. We have a lot of work ahead of us, but it is work that we will do and we will do it with honor, dignity and with complete passion.

The hard part of telling my story today, was reliving and expressing how the church had hurt me growing up. Actually, how it traumatized me. I grew up in rural Oklahoma, in a rural church community. When you take a scripture from the bible and interpret it “literally” and then pass that on to a child in your congregation, who may be sitting quietly, holding back who they were born to be, out of fear, then you put that child on the potential walk down the path to suicide. We have to stop and consider what we tell our kids, what we share with them as absolute truths.

You can call me blasphemous if you choose, but I am at peace with my faith. I have a community of faith that surrounds me in so much love that I feel completely at ease writing this tonight. I don’t know that I could even say this would have been so a year ago. In the day and age of churches with dwindling congregation numbers, one has to consider, what is it that is making people turn away? What is it that makes them seek out something else, a new story, and a new way of thinking? I don’t believe in my heart that it is a lack of faith that makes them leave, but a weariness of literalism being thrown in their face. I love my progressive approach to my faith and I love that Clay and I have found a church were we feel at home to explore those progressive thoughts and ideas.

We matter to this world, you matter to this world and each child matters and should have the experience of having positive role models in their life. Be the change you want to see and say kind words to each other. Bring peace to your life and if you can, to another’s life. 



Have a peaceful night!

Johnny Bryan Ward

Loving the development of the storyline, even though we all know that with one of Ryan’s AHS shows, we have to lose some of our favorite characters. No character seems to be immune. Maybe that is one of the true realities of the show. Life is fragile, unpredictable and whether we like it or not, we are all walking with death.

Intro:

Lupe: Be careful with those ones that feel unappreciated.

Clay: Did she say poofs? Oh no she didn’t!!!

Second Segment: 

Desiree: Make me feel something Jimmy…

Lupe: I’m confused…Elsa’s stage-fright had a lot of loose ends on that part and not everyone is going to come out ok.

Clay: It was a very confusing segment…triple titties and lobster boy; I just want to feel something.

Third Segment:

Dandy: I don’t want to end up like daddy, swinging lifeless in a Japanese maple.

Lupe: Doesn’t make me want to eat a cupcake, for sure. That guy is going to get it. I hope Twisty and Muldrake come back to get him.

Clay: It’s 1952. You just can’t go around picking up vagrants off the street and kill them; people will be missed.

Segment Four:

Dandy: I will be the US steel of murder. The clown was put on earth to show me the way, sweet language of murder.

Lupe: I just can’t believe he killed Matt Bomer. I’m devastated. I love that he played a gay character.

Clay: I got $20.00

Segment Five:

Lupe: Jealousy, ego and possessiveness is a BIATCH!!!!!

Clay: Their tiny little fingers will snap like twigs…..

What was your favorite AHS moment???? Comment below.

What a spectacular night to be in love, on date night and endulging in some of Tulsa's best culture. Tonight was Nicolo Fonte's Bolero and Ma Cong's Carmina Burana presented by Tulsa Ballet. It was a definite sensory overload, but in the best possible way. Joining Tulsa Ballet tonight was Tulsa Symphony Orchestra, Tulsa Oratorio Chorus and the Tulsa Opera. 



Nicolo Fonte's Bolero

We had the distinct pleasure of getting to go take a sneak peak behind the scenes as Nicolo and the extremely talented dancers of the Tulsa Ballet were in rehearsals. The level of talent, hard work and dedication was mind blowing. At the end of rehearsal, Nicolo took some questions from the audience. He is a remarkably interesting man and his story of how he came about doing Bolero was equally interesting. I found the part where he explained that composer, Maurice Ravel, actually found his inspiration for Bolero from industrial pistons and how they build upon themselves, working slow at first and then becoming more fast and furious. The music itself fits this description perfectly and to tell you the truth, the music make more sense to me now. Tulsa Ballet completely slayed Bolero. The dancing was superb, the setting was exactly what Nicolo had described it would be. 

Ma Cong's Carmina Burana

The collaboration on this piece was mind-blowing. We were left trying to decide where we should be looking as their was talent surrounding us everywhere between the Tulsa Ballet, Tulsa Opera, Tulsa Symphony Orchestra and the Tulsa Oratorio Chorus. The dancing was remarkable, intense and the story was told beautifully. Ma's pieces never cease to entertain and challenge us, which we love. He is cutting edge, but still holds true to who he is.

This is a must see show. If you can get tickets for tomorrow's matinee then you should run to the box office, not walk. The talent is off the charts. 

Below is a video from a previous Carmina Burana done by Tulsa Ballet featuring one of our favorites, Alfonso Martin. 

Have a peaceful night!

Johnny Bryan Ward

These are just some random thoughts on our weekly viewing party of AHS Freak Show. So please pardon the randomness of it, but I do have to say, tonight had some awesome lines. Too many to pick from.



Intro Scene

Elsa: Has the cat got your tongue? My talent has been known to render men useless

Lupe: I have been called names so many times, that I had to give them a monster. Mordred, I have never heard the words “my lovely” sound so creepy than when Mordrake said that to Elsa.

Clay: You’re not the first boy to come around looking for lessons in love.

Scene Two -

You could get the blow job of your life; it was sexual chaos. Does the puppy need to go pee pee.

Lupe: I wasn’t quite ready for that freak show, brothel scene. The clown off is about to begin.

Clay: Twisty had it coming. No dominatrix puts baby in the corner, especially sitting on nails.

Scene Three -

The soldier boy, he had fallen in love with this whore.

Lupe: I think Elsa is hiding something.

Clay: That was an extreme pedicure or are you ready for my close up.

Scene Four -

I love the children, but not the freaks….they’re mean. I know better than anyone else what kids want.

Lupe: The backstory of Twisty was tragic, all of the name calling and abuse. As regards to Dandy, nothing is as good as the real thing, so cut it out.

Clay: Poor dental hygiene will kill you every time.

Scene Five -

Oh for the love of Christopher….

Lupe: I’m a real lady, and then some. #AndThenSome

Clay: Jimmy saved the show. That’s definitely a strain on the vocal cords for Patti.

The show is moving an evolving rapidly, which is pretty typical for a Ryan Murphy show. But to kill off Twisty, right when I was starting to like clowns again, come on Ryan.

I think Twisty needs to make an encore performance.

Have a peaceful night!

Johnny Bryan Ward

Today has been one of those moments in life when you realize that dreams can be plural. We don't have to settle for just having one dream, one thing that we strive for. We can do and achieve anything we set our hearts and minds to. 

When I graduated with my bachelors I was proud. When I graduated with my masters, I thought what next? When I met the love of my life when I was in my thirties, I thought life has a funny way of bringing us what we least expect. I could have stopped there. 

I had my education, I had my husband, I had two wonderful children and an awesome family. But there were still dreams that I held deep within. Dreams that never stopped nagging at me, telling me that I had more within me. 

It wasn't until I was 42 that I picked up that dream, dusted it off and put it to the ultimate test. I was rusty, even scared. I didn't know if I had what it would take to write a piece of work worthy of publication. But I faced my fear, I kept going. I got up at 4:30am every morning and wrote before it was time to go to work. I would worked on it over the weekend. I put my heart and soul into it and then one day it happened, I had my first draft. 

Needless to say, Blue Moon is that vision, that dream that kept nagging at me.  I loved writing it and I am loving writing the rest of the series. I have so many ideas, dreams, ready to be put to paper. 

Today, I launched that dream for the world to see. I put it out there to be read, loved, and even hated. It will not be for everyone, but it will be enough for some. I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of support today, by text and social media. I will be honest, I don't know what the numbers are for today's sales, and it doesn't matter, not today. Today was about fulfilling a dream. I feel like I have done that. 

Keep dreaming and keep believing. It will happen if you want it bad enough.

Have a peaceful night!

Johnny Bryan Ward

I feel so fortunate to have a family who is as thrill-seeking as I am. Some of them indulge me (I think) and push themselves outside of their comfort zones, but I appreciate it non-the-less.

I had been counting the days until the movie Annabelle came out and we made an event of it. Our dear friend, Ali, came in from Wichita that weekend. We went to see Annabelle, which was amazing, then to dinner and then to the haunted attraction, The 13th Ward (no, they were not admitting me).

We make it a family event each year to go check out some haunted houses and this year we chose The 13th Ward. It was a great time and THEY ALL got a good laugh at me throwing my hands in the air each time someone came at me. I have this love/hate relationship with Texas Chainsaw Massacre. As a young child, I wasn't able to finish the first movie (that was the only horror movie I wasn't able to finish), but as an adult, I absolutely love them. But when that man in The 13th Ward came at me with a chainsaw, all I could do was freeze (after almost knocking a wall down). It was fun, and laughs were had by all. 

That was a few weekends ago, but tonight we all went to see the movie Ouija. I have been waiting for this one to come out too. It did not disappoint. There were many moments when you thought you would jump right out of the seat. I loved it.

I am not sure where my love of horror movies and supernatural books came from. It is the total opposite of my upbringing and my personality (I can hear the Peanut Gallery saying something over there, his name is Clay). As my first book is launching Tuesday, October 28, 2014 (the eBook version is available today on Amazon.com), I find myself evaluating where that love of the supernatural comes from. My analysis is, I don’t care. It is me and I will continue to seek out those supernatural adrenalin rushes and continue to write books with the same thrill as long as the ideas keep coming.

Have a peaceful night!

Johnny Bryan Ward

Tonight's Episode Three was especially thrilling to a horror movie fan like myself. There were a couple of scenes that paid homage to John Carpenter's Halloween franchise. It was amazing and the fact that it was the clown made it that much more of a nail biter. Love where this season is headed. Here are some of our favorite excerpts and personal opinions on Episode 3, for what they are worth. 




Elsa - They were losers in life…at least now they have some value.

First scene:

Lupe: I am looking forward to finding out more about those suspect people and what they are going to do at the freak show to get that hot commodity item. There looks are so simple and unassuming; I feel like they are going to slime their way in there.

Clay: Seems like all the good jobs are in Florida.

Second Scene:

Lupe: Hope is the best medicine.

Clay: Curfews are for poor people…..Dots a bitch!!!

Third Scene:

Ethel - Someone is mad at someone…fight with triple tits??

Believe me boy…I hate you too!!!

Lupe: I have a soft spot for Ethel Darling this episode…

Clay: RESPECT ReRe….

Fourth Scene:

The Viking hustler was a nice surprise….

Lupe: The Hustler guy, creepy, not kinky….

Clay: I can’t decide who I like better…the Viking or the clown.

Fifth Scene:

You are nothing but a two headed freak…

In the land of Gods and Monsters, I was an Angel…..No one’s gonna take my soul away….Its innocence lost….Oh yeah give it to me, it’s what I really want, its innocence lost.

Lupe: Stuff’s about to go down with Edward…he is about to take over. Elsa, was wearing green to match her envy.

Clay: The dark haired stranger…it’s Mr. Mordrake to you….

Sixth Scene:

More fun…

Lupe: There is about to be a clown off, for sure….and Edward has a soft spot for Ethel #nottheone

Clay: Fear the beard… #notjustBigBrother 


Let us know what you favorite parts of this episode were...comment below.

The eerie music strikes up, the scene is set and the clown is on the loose. Where this will go, nobody knows, but we are watching with baited anticipation for the story to unfold.

Intro:

Elsa: My monsters cherish their privacy.

Lupe: Oh snaps, come on! That’s one angry clown.

Nate: I think he is just upset because he can’t make the world happy.

Clay: The show must go on….

Scene Two:

Jimmy Darling: got to let em know us….

Ethel Darling: Christ on a wheel…

Desiree: I couldn’t stand the stink of it….let’s not get ahead of ourselves now, let’s get you to come first.

Lupe: It’s nice to see Angela Basset back doing her thing… #naughty, was that a bottle he was drinking out of? That one takes “mommies boy” to a whole new level.

Nate: I liked when the strong man broke that dudes neck…that was pretty cool.

Clay: I guess it makes me the happiest man in the world.

Third segment:

Dandy Mott: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you…… (This boy has some issues that are going to make for some good television)

Gloria Mott: It’s a clown, your very own clown….you can do whatever you want with him.

Elsa: It doesn’t matter if they are good…they have two heads. People don’t come to see freaks in the light of the day….Night allows the stars to shine and we come alive.

Lupe: Those are fighting words between the strong man and Elsa….Not everyone wants to share their toys.

Nate: Its getting more intense…building up intensity…someone is trying to take over the show; momma aint gonna like that.

Clay: Everybody loves a matinee, especially a freak show matinee.

Fourth segment:

Random rude lady: Excuse me, is there anywhere else you can eat….you are upsetting my daughter.

Lupe: Momma said don’t touch my boy…strong man is in for it.

Nate: This could help us…just get ready to run.

Clay: Clowns just want to be loved too…

Fifth segment:

Lupe: That harmony….Elsa doesn’t look very happy with the new Head’s-liner

Nate: Was that an hour long?

Clay: Sing it sisters…..

Sixth segment:

Lupe: My feelings hurt for Meep the Geek. Envy is very ugly…shame on you Elsa.

Nate: I feel sorry for Righty….the strong man has to go.

Clay: Clear evidence for separate housing for juvenile offenders.

Johnny’s thoughts…

This looks like it is going to be one hell of a ride. The setting, the characters and clown; oh that clown.

What does Ryan have in store for us? We can’t wait to find out!

See you next week for another AHS Freak Show commentary. What are you most looking forward to finding out?


Have a peaceful night, if you can!

Johnny Bryan Ward

Today is National Coming Out day. We all have our own story about coming out. It’s a personal one, but one I have shared with many friends, so I will share some with you.

The decision to move…

When I moved away from home the first time, I actually left the state. I moved to California when I was 19-years-old. I had spent a huge majority of my life being bullied about being different, feminine and gay (even though I had yet to tell anyone I was gay).

When I was in California, I was introduced to a whole new world. People were out, people were proud and some of those people worked with me. I had made friends with lots of people at my employment and we spent most of our time together when we were not at work. I was friendly with the gay staff at work, but I still carried the stigma and hurt from my youth with me. I was too afraid to let them in; to let them get to know me.

The decision to come out…

I had left California two years later, moved back to Oklahoma for a brief stint, maybe 6 to 9 months. One of my best friends from California had moved to Ft. Lauderdale while I was in Oklahoma. I had come out to her and she had told me how wonderful Ft. Lauderdale was and how she worked with a great gay man, who was funny and witty. She thought we would get along great.

I made the decision to move to Ft. Lauderdale, much to my family’s dismay. My best friend and I got a place on the beach and I also got a job where she was working. She was correct about me and her gay friend at work getting along. Although I will admit, when I first met him, he came running down the hallway at their work screaming her name at the top of his lungs. I was a little intimidated, but hopeful.

As time went by, he started to become one of my best friends too. We did everything together. He told me his life story and how he struggled coming out to a religious family. He gave me hope, strength and courage. I decided I would tell my mom’s best friend, who had been like an aunt to me my entire life. I knew she would know how to tell my mom.

The time had come…

We talked for many months on the phone about my mom, my family and how best to tell her. She encouraged me to just tell her the truth, no matter the consequences, because she had faith in my mom and her love for me.

I decided one night it was time to tell her. I walked out to the pay phone (yes, this is how long ago this was), just down from our place on the beach and made the call. At the last minute, I had some uncertainty creep in and decided the lesser blow would be to tell my mother I was bisexual. Of course, she didn't take it well at first and I admit, if I had it to do all over again, I would have just told her I was 100% gay, always was and always will be.

It took some time for my mother to come around, but she has and we have a wonderful relationship. She loves my husband, our children and our life. Actually, I got lucky. I was so jaded by the bullying I had experienced growing up, that I prejudged my entire family. I was selective in who I told. Turns out, 21 years later, they didn't care. They loved me for who I am, who they know me to be. I am their Bryan.

Morale of the story….

Everyone has their own story and everyone comes out in their own time and way. There isn't one perfect way of doing it and you have to do it the way you feel most comfortable and safe. There are always resources available, a hell of a lot more than when I came out. It’s about educating yourself about what is best for you. Just love yourself, trust your gut. Don’t put yourself in a dangerous situation; you know best. Let your instincts guide you and be true to yourself.

No one can do this for you. You will know when it is right for you. It is nice when our family accepts us for who we are, but we also have to know, we have the ability to have a family of our choosing.

Don’t give up. Keep up the good fight. Be true to you. Love yourself and live your dreams.

P.S. I am still best friends with my friend I met in California and Ft. Lauderdale. I made great friends in both places and am still close with most all of them.

Have a peaceful night!

Johnny Bryan Ward